One of my most favorite things that I have found on Facebook (besides that damn bejeweled game) is Moms Who Drink and Swear. I totally LOVE this woman! She says everything I ever thought, but would never ever have said about raising children. My favorite line, so far, was a few weeks ago...
"I love Jesus, but I fucking HATE Christmas!"
How perfect is that!!! It exactly how I feel. I WANT to love Christmas. I WANT to WANT to shop, and cook, and eat, and wrap, and sing, and decorate, and party and drink, and all that crap. But the real truth is, I could not care less about any of it anymore. And yes, I am the same person that at once put up 21 trees inside my house every year. And dozens of nativity scenes and dozens of santas and dozens of snowmen and every thing else you can imagine. And yes I still like all the stuff I have, but it is STUFF! With the exception of a few ornaments that are sentimental and some of my Nannies stuff, the rest could just disappear and I would never miss any of it. It would truly scare you if you actually saw all my Christmas stuff all together in one place. It scares me. I don't even know how many LARGE totes full of Christmas I have anymore. And I certainly can't count the small ones.
It just sucks so bad that Christmas just sets people up for disappointment. Maybe it's just me, I don't know. Everyone wants something special. Who actually gets what they really want? And why do we expect it so much? Why cant we just be happy with a greeting, or a card, or nothing? Because we are all programed to be greedy bastards, that's why. We have been fed this shit all of our lives. And none of it really means a damn thing. We have to compare ourselves to everyone else that we thought got what they wanted, so we turn sour. But really they didn't get what they wanted either. Its a vicious thing I tell you! Christmas is sucking all of the Christ right out of us all! (Hold on a minute, I need a bigger box to stand on here.)
So why can't we just not do it anymore? A few years ago we decided we were spending too much money buying everyone something, so we need to cut down on who all we have to buy for. OK, only the kids. Sorry, I cant NOT buy something for my mom and sisters and friends, just cant do it! That would take ALL of the joy away for me. So that left more money to spend on them, which I love to do. Even though none of us really should be doing it at all anyway, we all do. And that is when its fun, cause I really WANT to buy for them, sorry, I don't give a shit about the men.
It all just feels like its so hard to do anymore. Like we are forced to buy gifts. Forced to go to a party. Forced to cook too much. Forced to eat too much. Forced to drink too much. Forced to give up an important evening where we could be watching reruns on TV and put up with family. Forced to have a good time. Forced to like what we are given and forced to say thank you. What happened to the WANT to do it all?
This is how Christmas should be.
We should be celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Together with family. Going to church or just being together and enjoying each others company. Without time restraints and grumpiness.
We should be honoring Christ by doing what we can to be more like Him instead of the opposite.
We should love more instead of hatred, indifference, ignorance, prejudice.
We should do what we can when someone is asking for help, instead of always looking the other way. I don't care if he buys a beer or cigarettes with it, I would too if I were on the street. Go ahead, walk a few hours in his shoes, and so would you.
We should be buying groceries for those who don't have any, instead of buying more of what we already have and don't need anyway, the fat asses we are.
We should be cooking food for those who can't cook for themselves, and serving them with gratitude for the ability to do so.
We should be buying coats and blankets for those who are out in the cold without, instead of sitting in our warm homes complaining about the cost of heating.
We should be providing safety and love for the children who are out there without anyone to love them and hold them and tell them they are loved.
We should be praying for those who are lost and can't pray for themselves anymore. Or we may find ourselves there too.
We should be thankful every second for what and who we have, instead of bitching constantly about what we want and why those we love don't please us in what ever way.
We should just be thankful.
Please feel free to change all of the "we's" in this rant to "I". Just feels better to hope someone feels the same way I do.